Compared to world history, in the short 238 years that the
United States has been the United States, we have changed dramatically. Other
nations seemed to go on for centuries with relatively little differences. Of
course, the industrial age and the unfathomable rate of technological discoveries
have affected everyone in unanticipated ways.
I wonder what our founding fathers would tell us if they were
able. Maybe the more important question is, would we even listen?
Probably not.
We have become in large part a society where we each belong to a subgroup that feels that we know exactly what is best, where the right line is to draw in
the moral sand, and what should be seen as unacceptable.
And we know that it should be that way for everyone.
Those who don’t see things from our point of view or embrace
our solutions are just too stupid to know anyway, so let’s go ahead and make
the decisions for them. After all, we really do know what is best.
Our founding fathers may be surprised to read through all the
laws that are on the books. It may be a good thing they are dead, as it would
probably take more than a natural lifetime to even get to them all.
Close your eyes and imagine them sitting around a table.
“Why do they need all these laws?”
“Most of these things are just common
sense; you just do them because it is the right thing to do.”
“It seems like they have lost the
ability to think for themselves.”
“Or it seems that the government has
decided that it is a better thinker than the common man.”
“Generally it is the voice of the
majority that keeps the logical common sense, not the few who are in power.”
“What kind of a mess have they gotten
themselves into?”
“Is this what we worked so hard for?”
Of course, I could be wrong. They may be watching and doing
a jig and saying that this is exactly what they had in mind when they drafted
the constitution.
But I don’t think it is very likely.
I’ve thought a lot about it and it seems to boil down to
some simple but disastrous pitfalls.
One would be that we’ve reversed the accountability
direction on the responsibility to choose.
It seems that I want to choose for you. I know what is best
and you just need to agree with me. I just don’t want to have to make a
definite decision and choose for myself. No matter what, I want a way out if I
don’t like how things go.
That sounds like a pretty tempting plan at first glance. I
don’t have to really choose for myself because I can blame anything that
doesn’t go my way on you and then make you pay for it through a lawsuit. Who
knew that pain and suffering was really worth millions and millions of dollars?
The best part is that I get to stand up and tell you how all of us must do
things my way, and if you don’t see how this is the best way, then you really
are stupid.
Sounds like a first grader’s dream.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to stay in first grade past the
age of six. We are expected to learn and progress and grow and become an adult.
How are we doing? It seems that there are an awful lot of
playground skirmishes and bullying going on among those who are 30, 40, 50, and
so on.
The truth is that we have to understand just how important
it is to choose. To choose for ourselves.
I am responsible for the choices I make. You are responsible
for the choices you make.
Now, how do we somehow manage to live together, knowing that
we have made different choices?
It is interesting to read and listen to debates and
arguments over exactly this question. Each side has their “talking points” that
seem to come up in each conversation; you can almost say out loud what they are
going to say before they say it. It seems to be the same argument each time. I
guess the way you tell if someone won was if they were the last to repeat their
slogans or spoke more loudly over the other person.
Why is there no movement in the conversation toward a
solution?
Is it because we refuse to listen?
I think so.
Is it also because we are trying to use reason and logic to
somehow mathematically score more points and win the fight?
Yet some of the things that we are fighting the most about
don’t seem to be based in logistics and figures. They are based in feelings and
beliefs.
We are trying to change each other’s minds, while we are actually
talking about matters of the heart.
The court suit being fought right now over the issue of same-sex
marriage is a pretty good example. I’ve read the arguments and statistics on
both sides. Each proponent has done a lot of research and has made it very
academic, proving how their view is correct.
But for me it is very simple: I believe that God has told us
through His prophets that marriage is the most amazing and wonderful gift and
is to be between a man and a woman. I know that my marriage has brought me more
joy and happiness and self-esteem and friendship and security and hope and on
and on and on, than anything else I have done in my life. I don’t really need
to go any further than that. I know in my heart and my soul that this is right.
There really isn’t a logical argument that is ever going to
change what I know deep within.
Obviously there are good people who believe that same-sex
marriage is right.
So, what do we do?
Well, I don’t think that we spew anger filled venom at each
other in words and actions. I don’t think we treat each other like vermin and say
that I won’t hire you or work with you or let you live near me. I don’t really
think protesting or parading around and shoving one lifestyle in another’s face
will help.
Popular or not, my view is not going to change. Not because
I am stubborn or mad or vindictive. It’s because I am at peace with it. I see
it as truth. Truth is truth.
There are many truths.
I also see as truth that extra marital affairs are wrong. I
see as truth that creating a child out of wedlock is wrong. I see as truth that
a date does NOT consist of sexual intercourse.
There was a time that the majority also saw these as truths.
Yet society now fully accepts that each of the above is not only acceptable, it
is understandable and just a part of being an adult.
How did we get growing up so wrong?
Perhaps now it is a little easier to see why I am so deeply
concerned that, yet again, another huge chunk is being taken out of the moral
granite that made our nation the world’s leader.
I think we have to be realistic and ask ourselves, what will
be next? Because past experience tells us that we won’t stop here, just like we
didn’t stop with extra marital affairs but moved on to having children out of
wedlock and dating being a sexual free for all.
I have to choose for me. You have to choose for you.
And we all have to live together after the choices have been
made. Hopefully we will make the choices now that will allow us all to keep
choosing what matters most tomorrow.
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